


now we are new

by starzinoureyes



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: College, Coming Out, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, The angst is very very light, basically jared is kinda Going Through It but hes getting there, everything is fine, i promise this is like 98 percent happy, just bc jared is dumb tbh, some internalized homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:20:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25515667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starzinoureyes/pseuds/starzinoureyes
Summary: Jared and Evan go home for the first time since they started dating
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	now we are new

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kkamikaze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkamikaze/gifts).



> this is my gift for the @sincerely-us gift exchange on tumblr, its a combination of two prompts from kkamikazed for a kleinsen college AU and jared's parents buy this super fancy pool and somehow jared convinces evan into going swimming at like. 11 at night....my first time actually writing kleinsen, so hopefully it turned out okay!
> 
> title taken from "new" by paul mccartney bc i couldnt think of anything else

“Hey Jare?” Evan asked softly, tilting his head up to get Jared’s attention. They were both sitting on Jared’s bed, Jared sitting up against the wall, with Evan’s head resting on one leg and his laptop on the other, while Jared read through some articles for class and combed a hand through Evan’s hair.

“What’s up, love?” Jared turned his gaze to Evan, marking his place with his cursor.

“Are you...gonna wanna hang out over spring break?” He sounded unsure of the question, like he was worried about even asking it. There were just a few days until they would go home for a week, for the first time since they’d started dating. Jared understood Evan’s concern, he knew he’d been a bit weird about his parents since the beginning, and honestly Jared had been thinking a lot about it himself.

He wasn’t out to his parents yet, and while he knew he was an adult who could make his own decisions, the thought of coming out to them made him a little bit nervous. It was one of the reasons he’d tried to avoid Evan in high school, really. No one would know he was gay if he was never seen with the guy he was gay for. But he’d moved past that now, both because he knew it had been immature and because he liked life with Evan much better than life without him. That didn’t make the other shit any easier, though.

“Of course we are,” Jared responded, trying to smile as reassuringly as he could. “My parents know you. Hell, it would probably be weirder if we didn’t hang out, y’know? They’d think something was up.”

“We can hang out at mine, if that makes you feel better,” Evan suggested. “My mom will be at work a lot of the time, and even if she’s home she won’t mind.”

It always surprised Jared how close Evan was to his mom. Much closer than Jared had ever been to his parents, at least. To this day, he couldn’t imagine telling his parents some of the stuff Evan and his mom talk about. Like how apparently she was the first person he came out to back in high school. And the first person he told when he and Jared had gotten together just after winter break. It was like she was his best friend, which Jared would’ve made fun of him for a few years ago, but now he was a little envious of their relationship, especially given that Jared’s group of people he was close to still pretty much started and ended with Evan.

Which is why he could count on one hand the number of people he’d told about his new relationship. He didn’t actually need the whole hand. He’d told Alana and his roommate, Matt, and even Matt was mostly just out of convenience just in case they ever wanted to hang out in Jared’s bigger room (Evan had a single, which was great when they wanted privacy, but not so great when they wanted to spread out and work on homework). His parents weren’t even on the list of people he might want to tell. Not for awhile, anyways.

“Jared,” Evan’s voice brought him back to reality as the other boy sat up, carefully moving Jared’s computer to the side as he swung a leg over Jared’s lap to face him. Jared couldn’t help the soft smile that took over his face as he looked into the earnest eyes of his boyfriend. 

“Hi there,” Jared grinned, tilting his head up to peck Evan’s nose and making him blush. Evan flustered ridiculously easily and he was just so damn  _ adorable _ that Jared couldn’t help trying to do it at any available opportunity.

“ _ Jared _ ,” Evan huffed in response, trying to keep a straight face. “You’re changing the subject.”

“Am I?” Jared asked innocently.

“If you’re not comfortable getting together while we’re home, or if you just wanna go to a movie or something—”

“Evan,” Jared stopped him. “I promise it’s not as big a deal as you’re making it. I’m not gonna wanna spend a week without you, y’know? I’m kinda attached to you.” He smiled softly, cupping his boyfriend’s cheek and watching Evan blush again.

“Okay, good,” he nodded, leaning down for a quick kiss, then adding, “I’m kinda attached to you too.”

“Well that’s a relief,” Jared teased. “Would be awkward if it was just me.” 

“It’s not just you,” Evan promised and kissed him again. “Not just you.” Jared knew that. But he never got tired of hearing it anyways.

It had been Evan who’d made the first move, surprisingly. At least, he’d been the one to kiss Jared first (and then had almost started crying trying to backtrack before realizing that Jared had, in fact, been kissing him back). Jared was grateful, because he knew he never would’ve on his own. Sometimes, he still worried he would lose Evan again, like those terrible last few months of high school when they’d barely interacted beyond awkward glances in the hallway. He knew it had been his own fault, and he knew he was capable of doing it again, and he’d spent the first semester walking on eggshells trying to make sure he didn’t ruin things. And up until that very moment, Jared would’ve categorized “kissing Evan” under “something that would definitely ruin things”. It was nice to know that wasn’t the case, but he still couldn’t help worrying.

Then Evan distracted him with another kiss and any insecurities he had took a backseat for a bit.

\--

If Jared was completely honest, coming out was never something he thought he would do. He’d known—or had a feeling, at least—that he was gay since middle school, and had decided almost immediately that no one else could know. He’d already felt enough like the weird kid, he didn’t need to be gay on top of it. So he’d kept it his own secret for years, all the way through the end of high school when he’d finally come out to Alana while drunk, the night of their graduation. Having one person know had been a tremendous weight off his shoulders, but it had done nothing to alleviate his worries about coming out in the rest of his life.

He’d been drunk when he told Evan too, pretty early on in their first semester. They’d returned to something that resembled normalcy over the summer—their normal being awkward texts every few days and aborted attempts at conversation, but Jared figured that the attempts were better than silence—and when they moved on-campus Jared finally broke down and asked him if he wanted to meet up for dinner before classes started. It was different, this time. Like the physical distance between them and where they had grown up had allowed them to finally turn a corner in their relationship and be friends for real. Or maybe the new environment had them both grasping for something familiar to hold onto and had settled for each other. 

Either way, they spent time together. Real, quality time like they never had before. And just a month later Jared had spilled everything, nearly in tears on the floor of Evan’s room after a couple too many shots of vodka on a Friday night. He didn’t remember too much after the fact, other than Evan being kind and reassuring and hugging him before making sure he got back to his own room safely and Jared fell a bit more in love.

So Jared still wasn’t too keen on the whole “coming out” thing, and it made him feel ridiculously guilty because it wasn’t fair to Evan to have to keep secrets just because Jared didn’t know how to deal with his own shit. Evan assured him that he understood, and that it wasn’t a big deal, and that he didn’t really have anyone else to tell anyways, but that didn’t stop the gnawing in his stomach every time Evan looked over his shoulder before so much as giving Jared a hug. Evan had enough that he worried about anyways; Jared hated to pile on, and he generally thought himself to be an easygoing person, but for some reason this was one thing he couldn’t get past.

It was uncomfortable being at Evan’s house knowing that Evan’s mom knew. She was at work most of the time, just as Evan had predicted, but Jared was still on-edge. They were on the couch watching a movie, Jared’s head in Evan’s lap and his boyfriend’s hand combing through his hair, when the front door opened unexpectedly and Jared fell off the couch with how fast he tried to put distance between them. Evan, fortunately, found the look on his face absolutely hilarious and nearly fell off the couch himself from laughing by the time Heidi made it to the living room, while Jared climbed back up to sit an acceptable distance away from him, trying to hide his embarrassment.

Evan didn’t hesitate to pull Jared into his side again and Jared didn’t fight it, though he did glance at Evan’s mom, who was still watching them with a soft smile. He was safe here, he knew that. He was just being dramatic, but anxieties and insecurities were annoying like that: they didn’t care too much what was rational, they would take over regardless. 

“She’s really happy for us, you know,” Evan commented later, when they were up in Evan’s room with the door closed and Jared felt like he could finally breathe a bit. “I know it’s weird for you being coupley around other people, but it doesn’t bother her, and it could be good practice. Y’know, for when we do eventually come out.”

Jared nodded and nuzzled into his neck. “I know,” he mumbled, closing his eyes and sighing softly. Evan tangled their legs together and Jared felt him press a kiss to the top of his head.

“I know it doesn’t help to just tell you there’s nothing to worry about,” Evan said softly. “But hopefully I can help show you that.”

“I’m sorry,” Jared sighed, tilting his head up to look at Evan. Evan was already looking down at him, a fond smile that reminded Jared of the one his mom had been wearing earlier. It was a familiar thing, being here. Like summer afternoons spent playing in Evan’s backyard while their moms talked on the back patio, before Evan’s mom had gone back to school and Jared had gotten weird and their near-daily playdates had diminished to the occasional family dinner and then almost nothing. Jared never stopped missing it, though. And having Evan back now, it felt good. Being here with Evan felt good.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Jare,” Evan assured him. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

Jared was glad he was there too.

\--

Jared was unsurprised how well his parents took to being empty-nesters. He knew they loved him, of course, but having him out of the house had given them the chance to completely turn the place on its head. Even Jared’s room felt more like a guest room now, his old comic books and video games packed away in boxes for when he eventually moved somewhere bigger than a dorm, his twin bed with Star Wars sheets replaced by a queen and neutral blues, his desk completely cleared off so that there was room to work (Jared had spent most of high school doing homework in bed and allowing his desk to serve as a garbage can for crap he didn’t want to actually get rid of. His mom had probably done him a favor with that one). It wasn’t a bad place to stay, but it certainly reminded him that he didn’t live here anymore, and that he probably wouldn’t again.

One change he could absolutely get behind, though, was the in-ground pool. They’d begun construction on it last summer before Jared left for school, but it hadn’t been finished until just after labor day, and Jared didn’t come home until Thanksgiving so he’d yet to reap the fruits of that particular labor, and while late March probably wasn’t swimsuit weather yet, it was nice enough during the day that his dad had uncovered and cleaned the pool for them and Jared fully intended on taking advantage of it anyways.

“It’s freezing, are you insane?” Evan hissed over the phone. It was approaching ten at night and they were at their separate houses—Jared’s parents wanted to take him out for dinner, and he and Evan didn’t  _ need _ to spend every second together—and Jared had come up with the brilliant plan to take a midnight swim.

“Wear a shirt, then,” Jared huffed. “I know you’ve got a swim shirt, it’s like. A dork staple.”

“You’re a dork too,” Evan protested. 

“Yeah, and I’ve got like three around here somewhere,” Jared replied. “Are you coming or not?”

Evan had always been terrible at saying no to him.

Jared liked to think he took advantage of that the exact appropriate amount.

He waited outside for Evan so that they wouldn’t wake his parents, leaning against the gate that they’d installed around the pool. Just like when they were kids, Evan rode up on his bike, an actual backpack on his shoulders like they were spending a summer afternoon at the community pool instead of taking what would likely be a ten minute dip in the freezing pool in Jared’s backyard. Evan was always over-prepared, though. God, Jared loved him.

“You are going to kill me one day, just so you know,” Evan pointed out as he parked his bike, rolling his eyes at Jared’s smirk. “I don’t know how yet, but you will ultimately be responsible for my demise.”

“Well yeah, I’m pretty sure we all knew that already,” Jared shrugged, standing up straight and reaching a hand out to him when he got close enough. Evan hesitated, glancing towards the house, but Jared just pulled him in. “They’re in bed. Or near enough to it, anyways,” he murmured. “We should be good out here. Could probably even stay the night if your mom isn’t gonna be looking for you.”

“She knows where I am,” Evan replied. “Now I believe I was promised a midnight swim? I didn’t drag my ass out of my warm bed just to see your stupidly pretty face.”

“Awww, Evie, you think I’m pretty?” Jared teased, and Evan rolled his eyes but pulled him in for a kiss on the lips.

“Shut up, let's get this over with before we freeze,” he mumbled. Jared grinned and leaned up for another kiss before tugging him inside the gate and kicking his shoes off and trying to get Evan to do the same, hooking a toe in the back of his boyfriend’s gym shoes. “You realize that’s not helpful?” Evan asked, only sounding a little bit exasperated.

“Wouldn’t have to do it if you would hurry up,” Jared replied, stepping back so that their joined hands were their only point of contact. Evan wasn’t wrong to complain about the temperature. It was fine during the day, but it tended to cool off big time late at night, and Jared had to admit, the pool didn’t look particularly appealing when he could just drag Evan up to his hotel-like room (thankfully free of Star Wars sheets) and cuddle in his nice, warm, too-big bed. But this had been his idea and there was no way in hell Jared would be the one to back out.

Evan made quick work of his shoes and tugged off his t-shirt, apparently electing  _ not _ to wear a swim shirt despite the temperature, not that Jared was complaining. At all. He was probably staring, actually. Not that he cared. He was allowed to stare at Evan now. Boyfriend privileges.

Evan noticed his gaze and blushed, but didn’t try to hide himself like he probably would have a few years or even months ago. He just tugged Jared—who had gone for a swim shirt, he’s no idiot—closer for another kiss. He wrapped an arm around Jared’s back and Jared relaxed into it for just a moment before he was falling sideways. The next thing he felt was like a thousand sharp needles pricking his skin as his body hit the freezing water. He broke the surface again just a second later, shivering violently as he glared up at Evan, who was absolutely  _ dying _ on the pool deck.

“Oh, you think you’re so funny,” Jared huffed, crossing his arms in front of himself to try to keep some of his body heat in.

“I happen to know I am,” Evan replied through wheezing breaths. Pouting, Jared splashed him, glaring more when that just seemed to make Evan laugh harder.

“You’d better fucking get in here or so help me god I will break up with you,” he threatened. It was an empty threat, and they both knew it, but Evan stuck his tongue out at him and leapt into the water, the pool deck getting soaked as he cannon-balled into the water. When he came up for air a few seconds later, he didn’t look nearly as miserable as Jared felt. Jared hated him for that.

“Hello, love, here I am,” Evan grinned. “This what you wanted?”

“How the fuck aren’t you freezing?” Jared whined, teeth chattering.

Evan shrugged, but quickly swam the few feet to where Jared was shivering and wrapped his arms around him. “Just run warm most of the time, I guess.”

“Asshole,” Jared grumbled. “You knew I was gonna be miserable. You wouldn’t have agreed if you didn’t think I would be miserable.”

“Oh come on, I’m not that mean,” Evan huffed. He rubbed his hands up and down Jared’s arms to warm him up and Jared absolutely melted into him. “You wanted to do something, and I like giving you what you want. You making yourself miserable is just a pleasant bonus.”

“I absolutely hate you,” Jared mumbled, but the way he was cuddled against Evan’s chest like his life depended on it indicated otherwise.

“Sure you do, Jare,” Evan replied, and Jared could hear the smug smile in his voice but he was powerless to do anything about it. They were floating a bit, Jared thought, like Evan was walking them around the pool, but Jared had closed his eyes at some point and was too comfortable to open them again and see what was going on. Of course, that had been what had led to him getting pushed in to begin with, but he trusted Evan with his life and was prepared for whatever consequences came of that.

“You’re not falling asleep on me, are you?” Evan asked.

“Nope,” Jared hummed. “Just comfy. You’re warm.”

“You doing okay?”

“Yeah. I just said you’re comfy,” Jared replied.

“No, I mean like, in general,” Evan amended. “Like, this week. Now that we’ve been here a few days. Just wanna make sure your head is still screwed on.”

“Is my head ever screwed on?”

Evan laughed quietly at that. “Good point. Is it still screwed in the same way it was when we got here, at least?”

Jared thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, it’s been weird, but honestly not much weirder than when I was home for Thanksgiving and winter, y’know? Like, it's a coming-back-from-college weird, but not a trying-to-hide-that-I’m-dating-my-best-friend weird. Mostly.”

“That’s good,” Evan murmured. “Have you thought any more about when you’re going to tell them? Not that I’m putting any pressure on you, obviously, I'm just curious. This is absolutely not me trying to push you. You don’t even have to answer that if you don’t want—”

“Ev,” Jared interrupted him, opening his eyes again, to smile up at him. It always reminded him of the old Evan when he rambled like that, the one that had been giving Jared butterflies since middle school. Of course, he liked the new, more confident Evan just as much, but he would always have a soft spot for the shy, awkward boy who had been his best friend. “I haven’t really thought about it, I guess. Probably not this trip. Maybe this summer, depending on how much I’m around, y’know. I’m not gonna keep you a secret forever though, don’t worry,” he promised, and Evan noticeably relaxed at Jared’s easy smile.

“Okay,” he nodded, smiling back. “Right. I swear that wasn’t meant to sound pressure-y. I just like knowing what’s going on in your head.”

“Baby, I promise, whenever I have a thought, you’re the first to know about it,” Jared grinned, settling his feet on the bottom of the pool so he could stand on his own. It was still cold, but his body had mostly adjusted to the temperature and as long as he stayed mostly underwater it was fine. Getting out would be a bitch, but that was a problem for later. “In fact, you often get to hear about my thoughts before I’ve actually processed that I had them, so you really are the first to hear. When I decide to come out to my parents, you will definitely be in the loop.”

“Okay, thank you,’ Evan relaxed further, tugging Jared against him again. “Don’t remember saying you could stop hugging me.”

Jared rolled his eyes but wrapped his arms around Evan’s torso again. “Whatever you say, dear,” he snarked. 

Evan pulled them both underwater in response.

When they resurfaced, Jared fully stepped away, glaring at his boyfriend who was back to giggling hysterically because apparently Jared’s pain was funny to him.

“You’re such an asshole, here I am trying to be nice to you, and you just keep doing  _ that _ ,” Jared whined. Evan didn’t seem the least bit guilty.

“I don’t know what to tell you, baby,” Evan shrugged. “I feel like this is the shit you sign up for when you ask me to go swimming at 10pm in March.”

“Yeah, but you could just be nice anyways.”

“I could,” Evan hummed. “Or I could do this.” That was Jared’s only warning before Evan splashed him, causing him to make a sound that he would deny to his very last breath.

“Oh, it’s fucking  _ on _ ,” Jared growled, pushing as much water as he could in Evan’s direction. His arms were shorter (and way less muscular) so he wasn’t nearly as successful as Evan, but it got his point across and the game was on. They chased each other around the pool for a while, splashing and giggling and trying to drag each other under, the cold all but forgotten in their fun.

Jared popped up for air and Evan was there right away, scooping him up so that he couldn’t escape no matter how much he kicked.

“Oh my god, let me  _ go _ ,” Jared gasped, out of breath from how hard he was laughing.

“Hmmm, maybe if you kissed me first?” Evan suggested, and allowed Jared to maneuver himself so that his legs were wrapped around Evan’s waist. “Hi.”

“Hey there,” Jared grinned. “Kiss?”

“Yes please,” Evan smiled back, leaning in to connect their lips.

“ _ Jared Kleinman, what in the world are you doing out here?! _ ”

Jared felt his blood run cold as he hurried to push himself away from Evan, and thankfully Evan just let him go this time, looking a bit embarrassed himself.

Jared’s mom was standing at the gated pool entrance, arms crossed over her chest and a look on her face indicating that she wasn’t messing around.

“I...uh…” Jared, for once, was speechless. Obviously she’d seen them, there was no use pretending she hadn’t, and Jared hadn’t prepared for this conversation. He didn’t have an explanation, he didn’t have a story, he didn’t have a single word and honestly if it weren’t for the fact that he was mostly floating in the water already he was pretty sure his legs would’ve given out by now.

“I didn’t think we were going to have to set pool rules with a college student, but clearly we were mistaken,” she lectured. “No swimming late at night unless one of us knows you’re out here, no swimming when the heater hasn’t been turned on, and we have neighbors with children, there’s no need to be yelling at this hour.”

“I..right, sorry, I…”

“Is Evan staying over?” she turned her attention to the other boy, who looked a little bit startled at the conversation shifting to him.

“He’s...” Jared began.

“There should be room in your new bed for both of you,” she continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “Or if you’d like me to get a guest room set up, I’m more than happy to, but he shouldn’t be riding his bike home so late. Now get dried off and come inside.”

Jared and Evan both immediately moved towards the edge of the pool where they’d dropped their stuff as Mrs. Kleinman started back towards the house. When they’d pulled themselves onto the ledge—and Jared had been right about how  _ miserably  _ freezing it was—she turned back to them one more time. “It’s good to see you around here again, Evan,” she smiled. “You know you’re more than welcome anytime.”

With that, they were alone again, and Jared couldn’t tell if he was shaking from the cold or the adrenaline or something else entirely.

He felt Evan’s arms around him before he registered that the other boy had moved at all, and he was murmuring something in his ear.

“...so proud of you. You did so well, Jare, that was amazing…”

Jared deflated against him, his brain a pile of mush as it whirred to process everything. That wasn’t at all how he’d planned on this going. He’d wanted to tell them himself, for one, getting caught kissing his boyfriend in a backyard pool wasn’t even close to being part of the plan. But she hadn’t reacted...badly. She’d hardly reacted at all, really, save for scolding them for making so much noise. That was a good thing, right?

“Yeah, baby, I think that’s a good thing,” Evan responded, and Jared realized he’d been speaking out loud that whole time. He laughed softly and sat up, pulling back to look at Evan.

“Thank you,” he murmured. Evan cupped his cheek with one hand, eyes bright and open as he smiled at him.

“I’m  _ so _ proud of you, baby,” he said again.

“I...yeah,” Jared whispered, still at a loss for actual words. A sharp breeze reminded him that they were still outside and still soaking wet, and if they didn’t get a move on soon his mom would probably come find them again and Jared really just wanted to push further conversation until tomorrow. “So, I guess you’re spending the night?”

“If you’ll have me,” Evan replied, standing up and offering a hand down to Jared to help him do the same.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’ll always have you,” Jared rolled his eyes, grinning up at him. All of a sudden he was  _ happy _ . He was here, with Evan his boyfriend. Who was allowed to stay here as Evan his boyfriend. And in the morning, they could come downstairs together and his mom could cook breakfast for him and his boyfriend and probably ask too many prodding questions that he would have no desire to answer but Evan would fill in anyways because he’d never been good at saying no to adults and he liked nothing more than making Jared miserable anyways, and it would be awkward and uncomfortable but only in the ways it usually is to introduce your parents to a significant other. They already loved Evan, and Jared thought that maybe that meant they would be okay.

Evan interrupted his thoughts with a gentle squeeze to his hand, a silent answer to his internal monologue because Evan always knew what he was thinking. “Then let's go get warmed up.”

Jared let Evan lead him into the house and up to his room, holding hands the entire way, and didn’t even care that his mom was standing in the kitchen watching the whole thing.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think!


End file.
